Paragraph brainstorming:
What "means" EU -> economical and political alliance;
EU -> starting organisation-> ECSC (geography class in school) ;
Members (G,F,I,B,NL,L)
Reasons for foundation? -> WWII, USSR, economic growth, prohibiting German-French conflicts
Original Paragraph:
Where and why the EU started
The European Union wasn't founded as the
administrative behemoth it is today, with its thousands of officials
and hundreds of laws, but as the significantly smaller and less
powerful (economically speaking) European Coal and Steel Community in
1951 through the signing of the Treaty of Paris by the six "Core
Nations of Europe": France, (West-)Germany, Italy, Belgium,
Luxembourg and the Netherlands.
First and foremost the function of this innovative
institution was to guarantee the recuperation of the European economy
after the devastation brought forth by the WWII and the following
occupation by abolishing all tolls concerning coal and steel, thus
creating a common market .
Furthermore its purpose was to ensure peace by
disabling Germany and France from waging yet another war against
neighboring countries. This was accomplished through integration of
their respective coal and steel industry into one another, which made
war materially impossible.
Finally it served as an instrument of allying the
distrustful nations of Central Europe against an overwhelmingly
potent USSR.
In conclusion, the organization established more than
60 years ago became the cornerstone for the European unification
process, still continuing in the 21st century.
Paragraph 2nd draft after Melissa's class (corrections in red):
Where and why the EU started
The European Union wasn't founded as the
administrative behemoth it is today, with its thousands of officials
and hundreds of laws, but as the significantly smaller and less
powerful (economically speaking) European Coal and Steel Community in
1951 through the signing of the Treaty of Paris by six "Core
Nations of Europe": France, (West-)Germany, Italy, Belgium,
Luxembourg and the Netherlands.
First and foremost the function of this innovative
institution was to guarantee the recuperation of the European economy
after the devastation brought forth by WWII and the following
occupation by abolishing all tolls concerning coal and steel, thus
creating a common market .
Furthermore its purpose was to ensure peace by
disabling Germany and France from waging yet another war against
neighboring countries or each other. This was accomplished through integration of
their respective coal and steel industry into one another, which made
war materially impossible.
Finally it served as an instrument of allying the
distrustful nations of Central Europe against an overwhelmingly
potent USSR.
In conclusion, the organisation established more than
60 years ago became the cornerstone for the European unification
process, still continuing in the 21st century.
Feedback summary 1&2 :
My two teammates had no problem concerning my register or my topic
sentence. I made one pretty stupid mistake and I forgot to name the text
correctly but aside from that, they found nothing of importance.
Paragraph 3rd and final draft after Fiona'S class:
Where and why the EU started
The
European Union was not founded as the administrative behemoth it is
today, with its thousands of officials and hundreds of laws, but as the
significantly smaller and less powerful (economically speaking) European
Coal and Steel Community. In 1951 six "Core Nations of Europe": France, (West-)Germany, Italy,
Belgium, Luxembourg and the Netherlands created through the signing of the Treaty of
Paris the first supranational union in history. First and foremost the function
of this innovative institution was to guarantee the recuperation of the
European economy after the devastation brought forth by WWII and
the following occupation by abolishing all tolls concerning coal and
steel, thus creating a common market . Furthermore its purpose was to
ensure peace by disabling Germany and France from waging yet another war
against neighboring countries or each other. This was accomplished
through integration of their respective coal and steel industry into one
another, which made war materially impossible. Finally it served as an
instrument of allying the distrustful nations of Central Europe against
an overwhelmingly potent USSR. In conclusion, the organisation
established more than 60 years ago became the cornerstone for the
European unification process, still continuing in the 21st century.
Feedback summary after Fiona's class:
After Fiona pointed out that my post was structured like a text and not like a paragraph I finally remembered last year's "parapgraph editing classes". I also shortened the topic sentence, because it is not recommendable to make a native speaker breathe three or four times per sentence.
Feedback summary after Fiona's class:
After Fiona pointed out that my post was structured like a text and not like a paragraph I finally remembered last year's "parapgraph editing classes". I also shortened the topic sentence, because it is not recommendable to make a native speaker breathe three or four times per sentence.
Part4/Melissa/Fiona/English SuK3
Paragraph final draft 2
Where and why the EU started
The
European Union was not founded as the administrative behemoth it is
today, with its thousands of officials and hundreds of laws, but as the
significantly smaller and less powerful (economically speaking) European
Coal and Steel Community. Through the signing of the Treaty of
Paris in 1951, six "Core Nations of Europe": France, (West)Germany, Italy,
Belgium, Luxembourg and the Netherlands created the first supranational union in history. The purpose
of this innovative institution was first and foremost to guarantee the recuperation of the
European economy after the devastation brought forth by WWII and
the following occupation by abolishing all duties concerning coal and
steel, thus creating a common market. Another purpose was to
ensure peace by disabling Germany and France from waging yet another war
against neighboring countries or each other. This was accomplished
through the creation of a interdependance between thir the respective coal and steel industries, which made war materially impossible. Finally it served as an
instrument of allying the distrustful nations of Central Europe against
an overwhelmingly potent USSR. The organisation,
established more than 60 years ago, became the cornerstone for the European unification process.
